So I Began to Sit Very Still

Dwayne VanHoose practicing stillness

So I Began to Sit Very Still

I said to God,
but how can you love me?
I said to God,
I am sorry.
I said to God,
I am sorry but I don’t want to change.
I said to God,
Please.
But I did not know if I meant please help me
or please go away,
please let me be your servant
or please let me be my own god.

I said to God,
I am scared.
I said to God,
All is well.
I said to God,
I see you, everywhere.
I said to God,
where have you gone?

I sought and stopped seeking,
I got down on my knees.
I ran. I hid in my own skin.
I hid in my name.
I hid in my own questions.

I said God,
show me.
I said God,
I’m too small.
I said God,
I don’t believe in you.

I climbed mountains.
I ran. I knelt in the pew.
I read. I listened
with half an ear.

I said, I said, I said, I said
I said too much for God to enter. 



Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
http://ryezome.wordpress.com/2011/02/06/so-i-began-to-sit-very-still/